Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Hostile

I'm feeling hostile recently and I don't know why.

Well, I have a nueropsych appointment today, which is a continuation of last week's appointment. I'm being tested/examined for how much improvement I have made since the accident. I didn't think that I had done this test/exam in the beginning of my therapies, but now that I've done a few of the things I remember doing this with my occupational therapist.

Next week, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and hopefully that will result in some kind of improvement. Also, tomorrow, I have an appointment with an opthamologist for new glasses.

The other thing is that I am really hoping that things start to improve because I am so tired of struggling.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Anxiety

Oh goodness, I can't stand the amount of anxiety that I'm feeling lately, it's so bad that I'm having constant panic attacks. The anxiety is so bad, I'm reaching the point where I'm not going to care about anything and resign from all forms of triggers. Which, generally, is sad and if I think about it, I cry, but shoot, I just don't want to feel  so darn stressed. What stinks is that I keep telling my psychiatrist how awful I'm feeling and all he tells me is to use coping skills, which is generally fine if they were working, I can only cope so much when I'm being attacked by stressors nonstop, everyday. Seriously, I'm not a drug addict, I just don't want to feel anything anymore, if I didn't have self control, I'd being hitting people up for illegal narcotics. I don't think this psychiatrist understands that pushing coping this hard with someone, when all they're asking for is help, isn't very helpful. Well, I forgot my meds this morning, so I'm feeling the anxiety a bit stronger than usual. I'll definitely be taking them as soon as I get them.

Divorce
If I haven't posted about it yet, I'm now divorced, which makes me feel a bit better. What makes me laugh, though, is that apparently all of my ex-husbands decisions [while we were married] were my fault. Ha, no. Ridiculous. If a person steals from our son or puts our son at risk, or hinders him in any way: that person no longer exists. The best part though, is that he and I don't care about the people that do this, so their slurs of his/our character don't matter.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
Judging a person says more about you than about the person you're judging.