Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Well, I just shot myself in the foot

I should know better. I should know by now not to become secure in any situation for any duration of time. It doesn't matter what happens, how good or bad things go or for how long the event lasts: eventually the circumstances will change. I should know this by now.

Before the car accident, I was trying to secure our lives so that we could be comfortable, save money, have the things we needed and wanted while maintaining decent paying jobs to afford our lifestyle (which was pretty cheap to begin with). Even before the accident, I have been trying so hard to get to a place of comfort and security--basically, I have been struggling just about my whole life to get to a place of secure comfort. Every single time I get close to that goal (of secure comfort), something changes, things get harder.

Good job -then- Car accident
Recovery from accident, plus settlement -then- No longer employed, ran through settlement quickly
Employed with brain injury -then- Can't get sufficient rest/sleep, have to quit
Attending college -then- Again, no sleep: failed out
Employed in fast food -then- Employment terminated
Apartment lease paid 1 year in advance -then- Given notice that lease will not be renewed

Apparently, I suck at life.

Things always get harder before they get easier. Where's my easy?
Things could always be worse. How?
Everything that happens, happens for a reason. What's the reason?
Everything one goes through is a lesson. What am I learning?

I've run out of options. I have no more choices. I'm done fighting. I'm done struggling. I am just done. I give up.

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