Sunday, December 14, 2014

My Feelz

Ugh. I hate when my feelz get affected. I miss my baby. I miss my BFF. I miss stress-free life.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Today's Update

There are a lot of things happening recently, as always. I didn't read back to see if I posted, but just in case: I was admitted into a behavioral unit for a short while and was given new medications. I'm not sure if there is a new diagnosis, but the original one was anxiety/depression. One thing that I've always noticed about my anxiety/depression is that it gets worse when I'm stressed out. My thoughts start gravitating towards suicidal ideation, which I usually self-admit myself but this time was different. I started the process of getting copies of my medical records sent from the hospital I was admitted to, to my hospital where I usually get my treatments at. I'm not sure if there's anything new in my records from there yet.

I'm homeless and staying at a shelter right now, where my son is staying with my ex-husband. At first, I wanted to stay in my truck but that's not a feasible option. Today, I have a follow up appointment with my case manager to further everything in this process. We are going to work on housing, income and my healthcare.

Next semester starts on my birthday and I will be taking three classes which is, in my opinion, way too many for my brain to handle. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to do this, especially being homeless and without income; and, if I had a home it'd be easier but then I would need income and working while going to school is just not a good idea. It'd be nice if I could receive disability while attending college, but I guess it doesn't look good for me to try and improve my situation while on disability? I don't know and I should really contact my lawyers about that.

I've been feeling like everything around me is moving, fast and out of my control, while I feel like I'm not going anywhere--if that makes sense. As my friend put it: that airplane feeling, where you feel like you're moving at a snails pace but you're really zooming much faster.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Recap

I get bored during the day, there isn't much to do except wait for my appointments (which are days/weeks apart), wait for the agency that assigns case managers to call me and visit my son. I feel so lazy just sitting around, doing nothing and then it's disturbingly sad that I get overly excited when a friend of mine calls because they need my help with something.

Earlier this morning I wanted to register for classes in the spring but I lost the sheet of paper that tells me which classes I need. I tried to contact the college and they did help me some, I'm just too lazy right now to make the phone calls necessary to find out the classes. After that bought of laze, I searched for agencies within my field of practice and there are a lot more businesses out there than I initially knew about. Now, all I need to do is stop in, fill out applications and also turn in my resume plus cover letter. I hope that I get hired somewhere soon.

Let's see what the past couple of weeks have been like for me...in no particular order, either, I'm just listing as they come to mind...


  • I've been unwillingly subjected to Facebook drama and I don't like it so I ignore it...which doesn't help that my anxiety rises regardless.
  • The agency that is working with me about case management still hasn't called back with an answer, but I still have at least one more week before I need to worry too deeply.
One thing that I can't (or, rather don't want to) add to the bullet list is that I miss my son and I feel he deserves his own paragraph. I know that he misses me, he misses his norm--being with mommy, sleeping at regular times, being kept active, meeting with friends, going places like the park or zoo, etc. I don't understand why any of this is happening (involving CPS) and I don't understand why I don't get a call back from CPS after I've called twice. Nobody has told me anything about what is going on, just my ex-husband and why wouldn't I take what he says with a grain of salt? I did not put my son in danger, I have absolutely no idea who or why CPS was called. What's really baffling is: as much as they want my son to be safe, you would think they would have open communication with the parent they believe is unsafe so that that person could work towards being safe. The best (sarcasm) part about this is that CPS took my son's security away. No one explained to him what was happening. No one told him why it was all happening. He has no idea why he can't go and stay with mommy. Every time I call, every time I come visit, every single time I have to leave--because I can't stay with my ex-husband and son while this ordeal goes on, my son breaks down. My son has a mental breakdown every single time

CPS wants to keep my son safe? So...they do that by damaging his mental health. Good job CPS. But, I'm the unsafe adult here. Pssh.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Mental Illness (Continued)

I think that there is either something wrong regarding my medications or I'm under so much stress that the medications can only do so much for me. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a representative to hopefully get me started with a case manager so that all of my medical and other important things are organized. Hopefully this gets me somewhere because right now, I don't know what to do. Due to my mental illness, I have basically lost everything. I'm jobless, poor, homeless, practically friendless... If it weren't for social services (and my buying a giant truck), I'd be in the streets and cold and suffering worse. Anyway, I suck as a person. I'm horrible. I mess up people's lives. It really is a surprise I have any friends at all and no surprise that most of the people who deal with me (doctors, case managers/workers, etc.) are paid to deal with me.


  • I don't think that people understand mental illness
  • I don't think that people believe I have one, let alone a brain injury
  • I don't think that people know how to deal with illnesses they cannot see
  • I don't think that people know how to give constructive criticism, especially criticism that does not involve tearing a person down
Anyway. I'm a shitty person (and really, I spent a good 15 minutes trying to find a better adjective than that). I just suck as a person. I'm worthless and not worth knowing.

Just thought y'all should know. I was most profoundly informed of my shitty-ness by several people within my social circle...and they were quite direct at how much of an asshole I really am.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Mental illness

Okay, I knew I had issues before the accident, but I'm thinking they're more pronounced now than before. I've been battling depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation for years; I don't even know when it all started.

I can tell when I'm close to the edge and knowing that helps me go admit myself before a crisis. One or two months ago I was close to that edge and a few people talked me out of going to the hospital. I wish they had not, I wish they had encouraged me to go for help instead. The plan had always been: if I'm not feeling right, my ex-husband would take the boy and I'd go admit myself. One should not tell a suicidal person "if you go admit yourself, what happens to [son]?" Or anything around those terms--I was scared out of going to get help because "what if?????" And, I shouldn't have been scared out of going when I needed help.

Because:
We did not follow protocol. I ended up breaking down in public, at an intersection--I should have hung up my phone, since the call I was on was what triggered me. I was pink-slipped (admitted against my will, for the safety of myself and others) to a behavioral unit. Other things ensued which I'll not share here.

I think I have a personality disorder, which I've been thinking for quite some time but it seems more and more possible as time goes on. I know I need to talk things over with my medical care team, so I'm glad that the hospital scheduled follow-ups for me. I think I damaged my brain a bit more, too (my self-harm is bashing my head on things; i.e. the floor, wall, window, etc.)

Finally, I must say:

Mental illness is a real thing.

When someone is asking for help or looks/acts like they need help: GET THEM HELP.

Don't be an armchair psychologist, don't talk them out of getting help, don't help them by hurting them. Actually help them by getting or directing them the help they need.

I'm still recovering; from both the car accident and anxiety-depression. Hopefully things get better.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Birthday Month

I hadn't known that August was full of my friend's (and son's) birthdays, well not only August but the Autumn months in general. My best friend (literally) forever's  birthday is today and my son is turning three in two days. Time is passing too fast and this is one of those times I wish that life had a pause and rewind button.

I am glad that my friends are being super nice and getting my son a lot to celebrate his birthday this week. I'm not sure if we'll have a party, because I don't have money for anything to do with celebrations--I don't even have enough for gas. Maybe we ought to have a get together at the park? Well, if anything it'd be a last-minute invite, so there's that. I wish I could get presents for my friend and son, though. At least there are more people to help them celebrate than just me.

Regarding work: I work for myself and I'm required to provide proof that I do, otherwise the county will discontinue the benefits that I receive. The only thing that I'm concerned about is health insurance...I can't afford that cost and that part is making me nervous. I might have to ask around about private health insurance. The one thing that is troublesome about providing proof is that I don't know what else the county needs; I already turned in my RA forms and the last I remember about this whole ordeal is that was all I needed--but I had only encountered this "problem" before the car accident and my caseworker then was much more helpful than my caseworker now.

Other than that... I love my truck and I honestly do not want to get rid of it. I know that it's a gas-gussler and that makes it rough. I have been thinking of financing for a sedan but after doing all of the math, I won't be able to comfortably do that before another six or so months have passed. If I traded it in or sold it privately, buying a new(er) sedan would be only slightly easier but even then I would still have a hard time affording things. As I added it all up: I don't have a car payment on my truck, affording the gas itself is practically a car payment, car insurance for me right now is insane and besides that my truck still requires routine maintenance. But, regarding a new(er) sedan: I would have a car payment (which would be pretty high because my CS sucks), gas would be slightly cheaper than with my truck but still expensive, my car insurance would increase because it's a "newer" vehicle and the car would require routine maintenance. So, it sadly makes better sense for me to keep my truck, save money, build my credit and power through these financial difficulties for a few months. If I had the sense when I bought my truck (or someone had taken my settlement and helped me use it responsibly), I (probably) would have bought a (brand new) sedan and still had money left over even now. But, as it is: I struggle and fight through things, which is life.

Eventually, things will get easier, I just have to work through this tough time.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Hostile

I'm feeling hostile recently and I don't know why.

Well, I have a nueropsych appointment today, which is a continuation of last week's appointment. I'm being tested/examined for how much improvement I have made since the accident. I didn't think that I had done this test/exam in the beginning of my therapies, but now that I've done a few of the things I remember doing this with my occupational therapist.

Next week, I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and hopefully that will result in some kind of improvement. Also, tomorrow, I have an appointment with an opthamologist for new glasses.

The other thing is that I am really hoping that things start to improve because I am so tired of struggling.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Anxiety

Oh goodness, I can't stand the amount of anxiety that I'm feeling lately, it's so bad that I'm having constant panic attacks. The anxiety is so bad, I'm reaching the point where I'm not going to care about anything and resign from all forms of triggers. Which, generally, is sad and if I think about it, I cry, but shoot, I just don't want to feel  so darn stressed. What stinks is that I keep telling my psychiatrist how awful I'm feeling and all he tells me is to use coping skills, which is generally fine if they were working, I can only cope so much when I'm being attacked by stressors nonstop, everyday. Seriously, I'm not a drug addict, I just don't want to feel anything anymore, if I didn't have self control, I'd being hitting people up for illegal narcotics. I don't think this psychiatrist understands that pushing coping this hard with someone, when all they're asking for is help, isn't very helpful. Well, I forgot my meds this morning, so I'm feeling the anxiety a bit stronger than usual. I'll definitely be taking them as soon as I get them.

Divorce
If I haven't posted about it yet, I'm now divorced, which makes me feel a bit better. What makes me laugh, though, is that apparently all of my ex-husbands decisions [while we were married] were my fault. Ha, no. Ridiculous. If a person steals from our son or puts our son at risk, or hinders him in any way: that person no longer exists. The best part though, is that he and I don't care about the people that do this, so their slurs of his/our character don't matter.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
Judging a person says more about you than about the person you're judging.

Monday, June 16, 2014

TBIs and relationships

It doesn't matter the depth of the relationship; usually it's hard for the other person in the relationship to relate to the TBI victim. Most TBI sufferers end up being "different" post-injury. Their behaviors, attitudes, expressions, understanding, personality, etc. one or more or all together change and make the person you knew, before their TBI, act and behave like a completely different person. That's hard on a person; no one prepares for, or expects, their loved one or friend or acquaintance to not behave as they did before they were injured. What's more is that most TBI victims don't even know they have changed, they don't even remember how they used to be (because most people don't sit and evaluate how they interact with others while taking notes).

Now and even before my accident, I didn't have many friends and even fewer were intimately close to me. Having my close friends talk with me, help me understand social interactions again and tell me all that is different, good and bad, helps me a lot. I don't know who I was or how I acted, but I know the behaviors I'm incorporating that I do not like. I try to be consistent in paying attention to how I'm behaving and what and how I say things now. True friends stay with you, no matter how hard things become and I am sincerely thankful for all of my friends.

This past twelve-month has been extremely difficult for me, there were more downs than ups and it was a terrible rollercoaster-esque experience. After I received my settlement, I was still not in the right state of mind regarding my brain injury and recovery. I know now, but did not know then, that I foolishly wasted money. Almost all of the things I bought, with the expectation of being able to keep, I had to sell or donate--because things got that bad, to where I couldn't keep much and really needed the money.

My son is happy and healthy. He's a little champ, powering through all these changes and things being unstable. I'm proud that he is now potty trained, drinking out of "big boy" cups (no more sippy cups!) and he's talking a lot more!

My relationship with my husband has crumbled. A lot of bad things happened in quick succession, in a short amount of time, that stressed me our considerably but also sent him into a depression. In his depression, he was getting really angry and hateful--because our financial situation was really bad and getting worse, not to mention that he probably felt like a failure. It was a long period of time where things were just getting worse and stress levels were rising, which meant it was even harder for him to adapt to my new self. I am now divorced, however if was a uncontested/friendly divorce.

After our divorce was completed and even during the court day, he had been considerably cordial. My now ex-husband is doing his best and being friendly, mostly so that our son doesn't see us fight (which is good, I was thinking along  those lines, as well). I'm hoping thing get better as time goes on. I'm tired of being stressed out.

I'm still in college, hoping not to work while going to school (because last time I failed) and caring for my son who is growing up too fast for my comfort.

Monday, June 2, 2014

College

So, I need to switch up my class schedule because I'll probably end up failing with all of the time I need to spend out of class due to appointments. Hopefully the process goes smooth, I'm not in the mood to deal with stress right now.

Friday, May 2, 2014

I am bubbling over with excitement!

I have THREE job positions lined up! Three! Go me! I am actually employed by two out of the three and I will be employed through the third one as soon as I get a physical and TB test done. Holy smokes, this is amazing.

I thought that it was impossible for me to get hired. The only thing that was making it difficult for me to get hired was my TBI. Which, it is against the law to not hire someone due to a disability but that doesn't stop an employer because they don't have to disclose why they won't hire you and if you ask they would give a different reasoning. I thought that maybe it was my resume that was stopping my employment, I even signed up for a workshop to help me fix up my resume, cover letter and interviewing skills. Apparently, that was not the problem!

Anyway, I could be working for three different companies! I know that I cannot handle working for all three at the same time, I probably can't even do two of them--especially since I will be starting summer semester. This coming summer is going to be very difficult: I'll be working, going to college and taking care of my son. Hopefully it won't be as hard as fall semester was. Now that I have some things straightened out, I will have more freedom in my options.

Hooray! I'm so excited about this!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Looking forward

Hopefully, I will be able to get back into college this summer, if not, then perhaps by this autumn. I'm a bit excited but I'm tempering my feelings because as always things could change.

It's rainy and cold outside today, though it is springtime. On the first day of spring, it had snowed...either that day or sometime that week, I don't remember. I like the warm weather and the seasons changing. I suppose that the only season I don't really like is winter, but that's mainly because it gets bitter cold and that's pretty miserable.... Which, I just remembered that I meant to ask if there was a rake available since there are still fall leaves out on the ground and the yard would look better if it got cleaned up. But, now that it's raining, I'll have to wait until the ground dries out...raking soaking wet leaves is not a good idea, nor is it fun.

Also, I've been pretty exhausted these past three days. That is mostly because I'm running myself harder than I should, so I do need to take a break and relax. I spent the majority of the morning sleeping/relaxing. I hope that as time passes, I will be able to build up my stamina and energy so that I can work myself hard and not suffer exhaustion from it. Who knows, though.

Anywho, readers, y'all have a good day...I'm going to finish some laundry.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

Two-Year Anniversary

Well, today is the two-year anniversary of my car accident, yay (not).

We cleaned out my apartment for the most part, but the stove still needs a bit of work. After doing that bit, I went and visited a few friends. There wasn't much done today.

Today started out chilly, but it was sunny, then around 6pm it started to snow. It's pretty wet snow, really slushy. Hopefully the weather warms up soon.... I can't wait to go swimming.

Friday, March 28, 2014

3/28/2014

Tomorrow is the two-year anniversary of my car accident.

Today, I have a few things that need to get done. I have an appointment in an hour which I am bringing a couple of people with me so that they can help me understand what I'm supposed to sign and everything that is going on.

It seems like my son is ready to potty train. He must not like being in a dirty diaper anymore because every time he is wet or dirty, he finds a diaper, hands it to me and says "Diaper, Mommy, poopy!" I've had him sit on a little potty chair I bought the other day and he has so far voided in it twice--albeit on accident, as opposed to on purpose, which is perfectly fine. Since I made a big deal about those two times, he is excited to be using the potty. He wants to use the potty and tries, he's just not sure when he should be using it.

The other thing that he has really started to do a lot is make his own little stage or use the foundation of the fireplace in the home we're staying in. He'll stand up on his little stage, singing his own little made up songs. He will make his own songs or sing along with any music that is playing while standing on his stage.

Otherwise, I'm feeling a little bit better than I was over the past three or four days. I still don't feel like fighting an uphill battle anymore. Like, I am sick of working hard and making plans only for things to change and not be in my control thus making me feel really down and depressed. I know that life isn't supposed to be easy, I'm just so very sick and tired at just how difficult life is for me.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Very close

So, it's slightly less than three days before the two-year anniversary for my car accident. I probably won't do anything in celebration for it, but it is quite a memorable day for me and mine.

I do feel better now than I did this time last year. It's more of a feeling of better than an actual knowledge that I'm better. I had an appointment with my PM&R doctor this morning and he asked if I had gone through some kind of neuro evaluation test. I was supposed to have done one around the beginning of my recovery and then a follow up one, just to track my progress. Either way, I'm feeling like I'm doing/thinking better. I still mix up words, use the wrong words in sentences and it still takes me twice as long to learn or know something. A big change is that I do really well when I can get 10-12 hours of sleep. For the most part, I can only get about 5-8 hours of sleep and it's detrimental to my entire day, since I usually start falling asleep or am not able to concentrate as well.

There is a lot of stuff going on right now. My plans have changed once again. Hopefully things get easier in the next few years.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Well, I just shot myself in the foot

I should know better. I should know by now not to become secure in any situation for any duration of time. It doesn't matter what happens, how good or bad things go or for how long the event lasts: eventually the circumstances will change. I should know this by now.

Before the car accident, I was trying to secure our lives so that we could be comfortable, save money, have the things we needed and wanted while maintaining decent paying jobs to afford our lifestyle (which was pretty cheap to begin with). Even before the accident, I have been trying so hard to get to a place of comfort and security--basically, I have been struggling just about my whole life to get to a place of secure comfort. Every single time I get close to that goal (of secure comfort), something changes, things get harder.

Good job -then- Car accident
Recovery from accident, plus settlement -then- No longer employed, ran through settlement quickly
Employed with brain injury -then- Can't get sufficient rest/sleep, have to quit
Attending college -then- Again, no sleep: failed out
Employed in fast food -then- Employment terminated
Apartment lease paid 1 year in advance -then- Given notice that lease will not be renewed

Apparently, I suck at life.

Things always get harder before they get easier. Where's my easy?
Things could always be worse. How?
Everything that happens, happens for a reason. What's the reason?
Everything one goes through is a lesson. What am I learning?

I've run out of options. I have no more choices. I'm done fighting. I'm done struggling. I am just done. I give up.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Update

Well, unintentionally, I have been missing church for the past three weeks. This is not good, so I'm trying to get back in to the swing of things--church is not something I want to get in to the habit of missing. One of my problems would be how the sermons are preached, but that is something that I need to persevere through and pray about.

Recently, I've changed a lot of things around and as always: things always get worse before they get better. This month, I had to shut off my utilities and now I have to pay the balances. Not only that, but I need to finish cleaning out my apartment and complete moving into our new home. It's always good to have helpful and caring friends, especially since my initial plans were to move far away but now I cannot and won't have the money to fund my way down there for a long while. None of this is anything big, exciting or difficult, which is good. I know that I do have to make a few phone calls and straighten some things out.

I really like that as I reach out more to others, my son and I get more help, love and support. Things are getting better and no matter how many times I get knocked down I will always get right back up, stronger and fighting harder.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Stupid stupid stupid

I have to alter my plans now because of something that I read. I'm not happy about it. Things will take longer and be more difficult.

I'm making lunch and it won't be right because I'm missing a few ingredients. I kind of wish that I had gotten the things that I wanted yesterday. It's too bad I can't make lasagna, that'd be awesome if I could. Right now, though, I'm just making spaghetti sauce.

I want to elaborate so much, especially since I'm feeling a bit confused and need to write out my thoughts so that they're easier to understand.

Confused, confused, confused.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

I'm so annoyed.

Just like always, there is too much going on and it's causing me too much stress. I'm feeling very anxious and depressed, so much so that I'm on the edge. I'm so stressed out, my thoughts are very dangerous and I don't have a way to make the stressors go away so that I'm not feeling and thinking this way.

I don't want to feel like this.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

One day, I asked my friend how does one hear God. He said, "All you have to do is listen." Where, I responded with, "I have been listening and I hear nothing." His retort was, "You have to clear your mind." I was skeptical, but thought to myself, 'Why not give it a shot?' So, I tried and for the life of me, I could not clear my mind. I think too much.

Days after this conversation, I was driving down a specific street, in a specific area, listening to some music at a very low volume (or it was off, that I cannot remember). For the first time in a long time, I was not thinking about anything, my mind was quite literally clear and not focused on any specific thoughts. It was only me in my truck at the time, but quite literally someone said to me suddenly, "Good things come to those who wait." And, I thought to myself, 'Wait. What?' and my head kept repeating it: "Good things come to those who wait."

Next, either that same day or a day later, I read someone's license plate which said: TRSTHIM (Trust Him). I then thought to myself, 'Huh. Go figure.'

Then, a few months later, I receive a letter that references verses in the Bible and specific chapters. Even though what I was given in that letter applies to both myself and the writer: God is, once again, trying to tell me something.

Those events are etched into my brain so vividly. God keeps giving me signs and occasionally speaks to me (not in the crazy-person sense, btw) and more often than not: I'm not noticing it.

Regarding college, I'm still not sure which degree I would like to go for. I think that nursing would be a good fit, but it would take me longer. Instead of two years for the associates degree in nursing, it would take me three to four years. The other degree I am looking into would take somewhere around eighteen months to two years. Both branches of educations will be fun...it's just that I don't know which I would like to do most. I suppose I will try the second one and if I don't like it, it won't be a waste of my time since it's a shorter timeframe than nursing.

I am slightly annoyed by one thing that I learned earlier this morning, but it is generally no big deal since I have fixed that issue.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Boo

Massive changes are happening. They are for the better, but still... I'm so anxious.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Someone is taking care of me...

I don't know who it is or why, but that is what they are doing. I wish I knew who it is, so that I could personally thank them and let them know that I do appreciate it. First, my truck gets repaired and it was taken care of, so they saved me that money. Second, my truck needed a tow, plus another repair and so far the tow--from what I can tell--is taken care of, because the transaction I had made is now disappeared from my statement. Next is not so much due to this person, but to the simple fact that I chose decent insurance and because of my deductible, I don't have to pay too much out of pocket. I'm glad that my truck will get fixed soon, though, I miss her terribly.

Other than that, none of my friends seem to be available recently--which is fine, they may in fact be busy. I wish I were that busy. Being busy keeps me from thinking too deeply. I haven't been busy at all lately, so my anxiety is up all the time and I'm thinking too much which makes me more sad and depressed.

I hate feeling depressed.

ETA (01/31/2014): The towing transaction magically reappeared. Computer glitches, FTW.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Yep

My vehicle died and it was the fuel pump with the fuel pump module, which are expensive. These parts are so expensive that in order to buy them, you have to sign over your first born son (just kidding, they cost over $300). I have several people trying to help me along in this, which is awesome and hopefully we'll get it working again soon. I'm slightly agitated that I did not have very good decision making skills when I bought this vehicle, because it is used and what I should have done is bought a brand new car instead.

There are several mind-blowing things happening in the next three months and I am freaking out about it. I really need to get organized and handle this properly since I have enough time to get everything done. If I wait too long, I'll be rushing around and probably will forget several things.

I hope that I can make a decent decision on a certain aspect before the end of February, too.

Otherwise, I'm just as anxious as usual and freaking out everyday. My son is doing fine and growing up so fast. He's getting too big, I wish there was a pause button.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

My vehicle died.

Poop.

I don't know what happened. I was driving when suddenly something changed or stopped or went off. It was like the engine just stopped. The lights were on, the battery is still working. But, when I try to start it, it doesn't turn over. So. I'm not sure what's wrong. Boss says it could be the fuel pump and BFF says maybe the alternator. Hopefully it's the alternator, since that's covered on my warranty. Otherwise the fuel pump will have to wait until Friday. I think my mechanic is going to charge me storage in the meantime, though.

Generally, I'm anxious over the "what if" things that are coming up. Bills, rent, insurance, gasoline...they'll all be piling up soon. I don't know what I'm going to do, especially now with my vehicle being dead.

Hopefully things will start looking up again?

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Happy new year!

Well. Nothing has changed since my last posts few days ago. New Year's Eve was pretty good. I took the boy with me to my friend's home and we then went to a mutual friend's house to celebrate. They drank wine spritzers, I had to drive so I stayed sober.

I made two serious resolutions, that are private ...and isn't it bad luck to share them....or is that just with birthday wishes?

I'm tired so I'll be going to bed.