Sunday, October 27, 2013

I hate my life

I just realized today that I've never really had an actual, in-depth conversation on any specific/important/interesting thing with anyone. Maybe I've had slight conversations with a friend at work, years ago, but he was the one to start it and contributed the most to that conversation, where I would just add my input every so often. Not only that, but I've never really had any significant interest in anything, at all. Most people can pick something: sports, fishing, board games, video games, movies, music, books, etc. Me? Nope, I find nothing interesting enough or even commonly interesting enough, to start, hold and maintain a conversation with nor am I informed on any subject well enough to do so, either. Maybe that is why I can't just walk up to people and start talking to them, I have no valuable or share-able information to give and exchange.

Right now, I have a lot to get off of my mind--I need to talk out what I'm going through with someone--but I have no one to do that with. No one wants to listen to my personal garbage. No one wants to be brought down by what's stressing me. Which would be fine, if they didn't make me listen to their emotional garbage. They spout their garbage at me and it's like the lyric's to Toby Keith's song "I Wanna Talk About Me" go through my head on repeat. It really would be nice if I could get these feelings out and exchange thoughts, ideas and opinions on the matter.

I wish that I was social, that I could make more friends and not be as annoying as I apparently am. I wish I knew why I'm so socially-deficient.

I have not been happy for a few days now, in fact I want to say it's been a week or three.

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