Sunday, October 27, 2013

Hate

I feel better today than I did yesterday. I took my son to the zoo and we had fun. Then, I meant to take him to the mall to let him run around after his nap but we were not able to do that. <-- I had to put the computer down and couldn't complete this post until now (several days later).

This whole past week, since taking him to the zoo, has sucked. Other than the zoo, I meant to take him to a Fall Festival but it was too cold and windy to stay so we just came home. Aside from those two things (the zoo and festival), life has been going hard and fast in a downward spiral. Everything sucks, people suck, events suck, finances suck, everything sucks.

Shoot, earlier this week (after the zoo), I had a conversation with a couple of friends and they did help me a little bit. Now that the week is come to a close, though, I feel somewhat abandoned--like I would like some friendship/communication, something from one or both of them but I know that it's the weekend so I understand they're busy. Also, I know that I'm annoying. All I want to do today is give my one friend the funds for a part for my vehicle so that it can be fixed and I hear nothing... however: friend might be sleeping and I should be more patient...but I'm not, I'm pathetically impatient to get my vehicle fixed.

Then, today (Sunday, October 27, 2013), I went to church for the second time after a three or four week hiatus. The first time wasn't so bad, that I remember. This time, my son got kicked out of church again, albeit "nicely" before service started. So, I expected my friend who also has a toddler to follow what the "Head Usher" had told me and supposedly told her, but she did not. I guess my child is the only one that is allowed to be kicked out of church. Which is fine, because I'm not going back to that church anytime soon if ever. Fuck that noise.

I'm so beyond pissed off right now and it's not just over one thing, like my son being kicked out of church, it's a whole plethora of things that have been happening over the past year that have added up and are overwhelming me right now.

HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

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