Friday, January 25, 2013

I might be feeling...

I might be feeling, now, more like I felt before the car accident but that doesn't mean that my TBI ever went away, symptoms will pop up no matter how infrequently or how much time has passed. It is always there, a "silent illness" that no one notices unless you tell them.

The past three weeks, I have been having a headache in the area where my brain injury occurred. The upper hemisphere of my skull, located primarily on the left-hand side, is where my head aches. The tiredness that I was experiencing throughout every day in the early stages of my recovery has returned for the past week or two. The symptoms that never went away are word finding, spelling, speaking (when I'm trying to say a sentence that I'm thinking in my head, I have trouble actually forming the words, I have to force myself to think and speak much slower) and memory issues.

It is so hard to try and speak lengthy sentences, or continuously, in a flowing manner for me. I know what I want to say, but can't get the words out. It's like I forget what the word is that I know I want to use. To say a simple five to ten word sentence, sometimes it comes out very word at a time, each word separated by 10-30 seconds of silence because I'm trying to find and say the word I want...all while trying to keep my original point/thought in mind. Seriously, speaking is a lot of work for me. With memory, that is something that I can work on and the more things I go through everyday the better it gets.

I don't know. I guess I do feel better, like my TBI isn't as prominent as it was in the beginning. It's kind of depressing that the little things are still there and some random things come back at random and short intervals. I wish that none of it had ever happened or that it would just go away.


  1. Hi again. Just read your blog and once again, a good read. Thanks. You mention that "word finding, spelling, speaking" is your main symptoms. As I'm sure you're aware those "symptoms" is called aphasia. That is the main reason I do not have the same job I had before my fall. Without going into too much details concerning my pre-jury work, I supervised 20 - 25 people. Now I'm one of those people, because in addition to language skills, it takes me longer to finish job tasks then before because of short time memory I'm unable to work at a full-speed pace. But to get back to aphasia, it makes me alot of time to talk with people or writing. If the peole I'm with know about my injury, they do not hurry me when they see me trying to find a word. As an example, writing this comment hasn't taken me 30 minutes and I had to use a directory to spell "hurry" correctly. When I'm home and having problems of using a wrong word or not finding a word, my wife will say "worked all by yourself today?" Seems like talking alot during the day really helps me, so I talk to myself during the day telling myself step to step instructions instead of just thinking to myself. I also read alot, listen to talk radio, listen to the radio or a CD player to sing songs. My injury was in 2003 and my aphasia is much better then it was, but it still comes & goes.

    Take care,

    1. Thanks, my doctor never said anything about it, so I just figured it was part of the injury. I can ask about it when I see her again on Thursday, which was a follow up just for the recent headaches I've been getting.