Sunday, November 4, 2012

Need to Work on Societal Protocol

Okay, so I knew since finding out about my TBI that I'd be a bit different and somethings would be slightly more difficult. I knew then that I would forget how to be social, how to make decisions towards other people or interact with others. What I didn't know is that it would be so very hard to re-acclimate myself to society without people close by and constant, daily interactions with others. It's just hard, the only person I have close by is my husband and though he is great, he is not very wordy. Then I have our son, but he is not actually talking with real words and sentences yet, thus having conversations with him is a challenge as well.

Fruitcakes, I wish I could figure out a way (or actually have a way) to find more people to socialize with. I did sign up for groups on www.meetup.com, various knitting/crochet groups and a couple of baby/mommy groups, but we have no car right now and I still have not done the driver's evaluation with my OT so I can't drive yet. I would take the bus to the meet-ups but the locations are so far away and we don't have that kind of money. I really am at a loss, to be honest.

The one thing that I use is a particular website that I am quite fond of, especially since it is packed with people and I can "converse" in forum method to make sure I'm doing well with my thoughts, decisions and words. The problem with that is there is no particular place for me to actually post my questions where it would be appropriate. I'm nervous and scared I'm annoying some with my constant uncertainty and strange, obvious, I-should-know-the-answer type posts. I do know that I should know the answer to my questions, that I should know if what I'm feeling/thinking/saying/doing is right or wrong. However, I'm not sure, I just don't know anymore and I don't want to be wrong. I'm scared about doing or saying something and being wrong, not about facts but about social interactions.

It would be easier if I knew how to handle wanting to do something but being prevented in the moment, so wanting to continue or finish that thing soon, so that it's off my mind. It would be easier if I knew how to make a decision about interactions with another person who I am no longer comfortable with. It would be easier if I was sure on when to blame another person's sickness or injury or if their behavior or words or thoughts are (in)excusable. Those are things that I would have been able to "handle" before my injury, I wouldn't be so unsure because I would be able to remember how to interact with others-- I honestly cannot remember social interactions, I really wish I could!

Maybe if I ask my doctors about group therapy, that would be an easier or better way for me to get more understanding or sureness of how to be social? Oh, I hope so.

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