Sunday, October 21, 2012

High Expectations

I was just thinking earlier that I'm feeling better today than I have over the past 7 or so days. That's kind of interesting. I'm wondering how long the withdrawal effects of Effexor are going to stay in my system. I still don't get to talk with my psychiatrist until the twenty-third of October. Yes, that's the day after tomorrow, but that doesn't take away the anxiety I am feeling before then. I don't want to be on Effexor anymore I don't even want to start up the renewal that the nice nurses at my hospital sent in for me to pick up at the local pharmacy. The affects of Effexor and then the withdrawal symptoms terrify me, why would I willingly go back in to that before talking with the psychiatrist? At least I see her in another day.

My thoughts are actually clearing up, I'm able to focus better, I'm motivated again, I'm actually making and keeping track of plans that I want to accomplish. This is all while off of Effexor and during my withdrawal period, so I'm a bit impressed. I know that the insomnia and mania that I was experiencing was withdrawal from Effexor, but does that mean the motivation and focus is because of Effexor too? Another question to add to my list when I go to talk to the psychiatrist.

I'm excited that we will probably be bringing our son home much earlier than I had initially thought. The week after this is Halloween, hopefully I'll have him home before then! He's such a great kid and I love him so much. Having him away from me is torture. When he's here I actually have stuff to do: taking care of him, playing with him, etc. When he's here, it's not like on sitting on the sofa for hours on end trying to entertain my lazy butt on the computer, I'm actually taking care of him; I have a reason to get up and do things.

Which reminds me, I have to deep clean the apartment either today or tomorrow. I did straighten out a few papers I had laying around, but it's not as clean as I'd like it to be.

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