Friday, October 19, 2012

Deeper Understanding

I decided after rereading my last post to actually look into "Radical Acceptance". It is more than I thought it was. In fact, so much more, I'm going to have to see if my local library contains these books so that I can rent and read them. There are several blogs, books, articles and websites out there about it. I never even knew!

I'm a bit excited now. Just the first paragraphs from each site I read from, I'm quite interested and want to know more about it. I want to know how "Radical Acceptance" really works, what it really means; not just the meager understanding that I got from the sheet of paper I was given. It's going to take me a few weeks to really know this method. Maybe I won't put so much weight on what's happened to me over the years. Maybe future traumas won't send me so close to the edge again. I can only hope, right?

There are a lot of things I've been wanting to do, research and learn and each day, more curiosity for knowledge comes in. My need to know as much as possible, it's...I don't know, there's so much, I feel a bit overwhelmed, but by excitement, not by trepidation.

People I have been communicating with have been mentioning the library repeatedly. That's great, since I always forget what a valuable resource the library is. I need to take advantage of the information available within the library.

I really do appreciate all of the help I have gotten throughout my recovery. Even the small bits of suggestions and information help me more than anyone could believe. Seriously, one single sheet of paper and now I'm motivated to know more about "Radical Acceptance". Several, independent suggestions for charity programs and the like--individually or group mentioned--and I'm calling and emailing every person I can think of to get the things we need. My unintentionally caused breakdown and detox from Effexor; I'm being encouraged to make right-minded, sane decisions on what to do next. My focus turned from self-pity to, "What is wrong with me?!"-type anger that forced me to focus on what was best for my son and especially for our family. It's too early to tell, but I think that a week of no Effexor and I've completely detoxed from it. I could be wrong, so I'm going to continue with counseling and psychiatry.

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