Saturday, August 4, 2012

Sad

Okay, I was happy and proud of myself for feeling a bit more healed and recovered last week and the last time we watched our son. Now, I know I am more healed and recovered but today, I'm more sure that I cannot take him back full time just yet. We've been watching our son today since 7AM, which is fine. He won't be picked up until later tonight I think and I'm really hoping they come tonight and not tomorrow. At least, I don't want them to have me keep him over night and not tell me that's the plan. It's been 15 hours with him right now and he's taking either his third nap or is down for the night. I am exhausted and the sheer thought of taking him back full time after this episode, is terrifying me.

What would I do if we had him back full time again? I would be too tired to do anything extra, taking care of him and making sure he's busy and entertained would take up all of my energy. How would I continue my rehabilitation therapies with him home?

Right now, I don't have the stamina to take care of him full time.  I wouldn't be able to keep track of our appointments, take care of him, hubby and myself, I forget too much right now, as it is. So, I'm really sad that it's going to be much longer than I anticipated. I knew that it would be a couple more months but I'm thinking it's going to be much longer.

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