Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Feeling

Woke up this morning with the thoughts and feelings of wanting normalcy, that "wanting home" feeling. I know I've had those feelings and thoughts for years and every year I hope they change, especially since everything is so much better now than it was a couple of years ago. I don't know--I can't imagine--what I could possibly want or need that would make things that much better so that those thoughts and feelings would stop.

These feelings; thoughts and discontented feelings by definition are not uncomfortable, but I feel uncomfortable experiencing them. I don't understand why they're so prominent in my mind. It's a good thing that (for the second time in my life) I'm choosing counseling, therapy and potential medication--somethings have got to give and darn it, it's going to be these feelings that go away!

Waiting for my appointments is nerve wracking. I don't get to go to them until August and then a separate department in October. I know that my PM&R doctor recommended the rehabilitation psychologist and that makes sense since they have more experience with trauma victims. It just doesn't make sense (now, after the fact) that she believed they would take me in sooner than the psychology department itself. The rehabilitation psychology department won't take me in until October, which is well after the psychology department. All of this I don't mind, it's understandable but I think it's odd that the recommendation and turn out were different.

Either way, I can't wait to start this whole endeavor. I need some outside support to turn to and talk with.

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